How much do I cherish and seek after love? What am I willing to lay aside in order to receive love more fully? (What would possess a person to wear shoulder cut outs in a snow storm? Am I proud of how quickly I am distracted from focusing on Love? Nope…I am shameless; and in that lies my redemption.)
I am unflinching in my confession that I have no hope of ever being kind, unselfish, or loving on my own. Instead, I admit that there is not a shred of anything good in me, except by the Love of God.
Yesterday, I was very upset with my dear husband. I felt that I deserved an apology, I felt that it was delaying beyond what I wanted; so I prayed out my feelings (and my opinion) to God. I told Him that I wanted an apology. I prayed that God would “move his heart to see his error”. (This sounds absolutely awful as I type out the reality of yesterday, but, it’s what I did.)
Anyhow, as I am praying for my husband to be convicted in his spirit for offending me, I felt like I was being asked a personal question.
“Gracie, did you apologize before I died for you?”
Then I remembered the following:
I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love and unselfish concern for one another.”
How have I been loved? Oh, that’s right, Jesus didn’t just forgive me before I apologized; He took the consequence that I had chosen, before I chose it. Additionally, He prayed on my behalf, seeking forgiveness for me, before I apologized.
“Just as I have loved you…”
Before an apology.
Before I even knew that I had sinned.
Instead of simply praying, “Father, forgive him for he knows not what he is doing”, I was also praying; ” Father, forgive me, for I know not what I am doing. ”
Yesterday I was reminded that I was not reflecting the Father’s love.
What does my story have to do with you?
Are you reflecting His love?
Are you, like Him, praying that the Father forgives them, for they know not what they are doing?
If not, may the Father forgive you, for you know not what you are doing.