Chocolate & Beer

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Grateful and Guilty.”

Dear Chocolate (Beer, I will get to you in a moment),

Our relationship has been going strong for most of my life.  My earliest memories involve you at pivotal moments, like when I first learned to spell c-o-o-k-i-e and was rewarded with a chocolate chip trophy of deliciousness for my efforts.  I enjoy every form and shape that you embody…whether it be as a morsel, a chip, a rich ribbon of delight flowing through the center of a cake, a syrup in my milk, a hot and cozy version peppered with marshmallows, a light and milky sweetness, a dark version that causes me to give pause in silent revelry, an indulgent cherry-covered melt-in-my-mouth candy, truffles, or an almost-incognito transformation into red velvet cake.

I will gladly enjoy you first thing in the morning as a rich accompaniment to my coffee, melted into a symphony of flavors.  I will indulge with you midday, after lunch, for an afternoon pick-me-up, as a brilliant finish to a delicious feast, and, of course, as an unexpected surprise of delight at any time.

Although my house will always have that designated corner on the top shelf just for you, I need to warn you that it’s time for some adjustments.  You know how my husband James has been introducing me to the world of microbrews? Well, (this is not an easy letter to write), it’s time that my palate be rearranged to allow for the proper reflection of my new relationship with Good Beer.  I have learned that there is a vast disparity between cheap beer (a.k.a “Alcoholic Water”) and a truly artistic blend of flavors and alcohol.

Yes! It’s true, James’ coworkers have verified that we are, in fact, officially “Beer Snobs”.  Your suspicions are correct.  My devotion to you is divided.  Sometimes, we can all get together, as in the photo below…but please be advised that although you once had reign over my palate, now it will be shared with the likes of Short’s Brewing Co, Left Hand Brewing Co, Founder’s, and New Holland Brewing Co.  Don’t feel too rejected…after all, you brought me this far in life; making me who I am. Besides, I know that there are some very delicious chocolate stouts...maybe we could all hang out as friends?

Best wishes,

Gracie

Two of my palate loves photo by: Gracie K Harold 2014

Two of my palate loves photo by: Gracie K Harold 2014

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Bilingual Foot in Mouth Disease

Response to “Daily Prompt”: Uncanned Laughter…unintentional moments that made you laugh.

Adjustments to Normal

bird on headTrigger Word Warning: Several accidental situations which have been construed to contain sexual innuendo.  This includes one unfortunate mention of a very private part.

I openly admit that I suffer from chronic foot-in-mouth disease.  I manage to stick my foot into my mouth quite frequently.  This has gotten me into some rather humorous (albeit embarrassing) situations.

Thankfully, James is a man who was gifted with a wry sense of humor.  When we were dating, I promptly told him that I often lacked a “filter” between my thoughts, words and actions; so he needed to either be aware or decide to leave right then.  😉  He chose to stay; and I am so grateful that he did.

The following post consists of my “favorite” pink-inducing moments; both in English and in Spanish.  *I am so talented that I can bilingually embarrass myself!*  Here goes:

While in high school, I telephoned a guy friend…

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Edge of the Frame

He simply wanted an escape. He needed the comforting sound of the rhythmic waves crashing onto the shore. He needed to run until his lungs screamed at him that he could take no more! He shoved a windbreaker into his open hand, and began to ball his fingers into a fist. His jaw was set with determination as he snatched his water bottle and filled it with impatience.

“Why?” he railed internally. “Why this? Why now?” He headed out the door, revved the engine and peeled out of his driveway, not even caring that his neighbor (President of the Condo Association), would likely have a misspelled email waiting for him when he returned.

After a few painfully slow moments, he lurched into a parking spot, pocketed his keys, gripped the water bottle and took off speed walking with an angry determination to his steps. He quickly crossed the asphalt, hit the sand, and began a resolute jog towards the empty expanse of beach where the crowds thinned.

20 minutes later, his run was complete.

He had no answers, no resolution, only his anger. Frustration oozed out of his very being.

“I want answers! I want to know why!” He silently rehearsed his words again and again in his mind, as he resolutely walked back towards where his car was parked. Everything else was a blur. Completely unaware of those around him, or the view, he stormed off through the sand.

He was surprised when his body conformed to the leather interior of his luxury car. He exhaled slowly, deliberately. He squirted another shot of water into his mouth and hit the steering wheel with the palm of his other hand.

“God! We needed this deal! How could it fall through? This is the worst possible time to lose a client…especially a big client like this! What do you want from me? I am doing everything I can here, don’t you see that? Well? Would you answer me?”

Slumping his shoulders dejectedly, his eyes roamed one last time over the landscape, as if the horizon would hold answers for him. He glanced at an elderly couple who were giggling as the held hands. He looked away, then did a double take. “Is that Max?” He asked himself out loud. “No, it can’t be…he’s out of the country for another month…”

The gentleman looked over. It was Max! He was walking over to the car. “Well, hello, Kade, what brings you out to brood on a night like this?” Max never pulled punches and it was one of the reasons that Kade respected him so much.

“Wow!” Max let out a low whistle after hearing the story of the failed client, the investors and the Board Meeting that loomed ahead like the Grim Reaper.

“You know, we’ve been doing some research lately into the exact same idea; but we haven’t had the resources or time to develop a proposal. In fact, we cut our trip to Europe short because things just weren’t working out the way that I had hoped. Why don’t you call me at the office tomorrow, Kade? I wonder if we can’t collaborate on this in a way that would benefit both of us, and keep the jobs right here in our town instead.”

Kade blinked a few times, regained his composure, and emphatically nodded as he shook hands with Max. “I will, Max! That’s a perfect solution! Thank you!”

“My pleasure!” Max smiled. He grasped his wife’s hand, began walking, then stopped to turn back. “Kade, remember, if you ask HIM, He’ll always have an answer. It may not be what you expect or even what you want, but He will have an answer!”

Kade sunk onto the hood of his car, shaking his head in amazement. This time, he took a deep breath, exhaled…and admired the view before him.