Beautiful yet Awkward

Beautiful moments are more prevalent than tough ones lately…and it’s awkward.

Awkward because I don’t know how to simply be completely at ease in the beautiful moments.

I spent so many years being on “high alert” while hiding from my ex-husband (after fleeing from his abuse) and trying to fight the injustices that he and his family propagated, that I forgot what it felt like to simply just relax and enjoy the good things in life.

After the auto accident, as I wrestled migraines, I would hoard good moments, desperately trying to gather up a stockpile of them until a migraine hit again.

James and I have had a really good week.

We are learning to communicate lovingly and gently.

We are intentionally taking time for ourselves individually, and then for ourselves as a couple.

It’s good.

We’ve been intentional about having time with the kids as designated family time.

It’s good…and awkward.

I am awkward around easy goodness because I do well under pressure.

I spent years thriving through difficulty.

I am not currently grieving hard core, or persevering through health issues,

or struggling with relationships.

I haven’t had a migraine for well over a year.

It’s okay.

I have permission to simply enjoy this beautiful moment and the next; in an unhurried way.

I can lollygag in the beauty as long as I desire.

It may feel awkward, but I am no longer restless or afraid.

I no longer feel it’s necessary to run from the good, or earn the beautiful.

I can soak up beauty like a sponge.

Today, I am content to enjoy the beauty of life, as the awkwardness fades and I stand mesmerized.

Join me?

Beauty. Just beauty. (c)Gracie K Harold 2015

Beauty. Just beauty. (c)Gracie K Harold 2015

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