Abuse

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8 (NLT)  Photo (c)Gracie K. Harold 2014

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8 (NLT) Photo (c)Gracie K. Harold 2014

The following was posted in my comments recently, after I shared a brilliant post that I had read about Domestic Violence and Abuse.  I feel compelled to share the comments and the links again; as I feel so strongly today that our story needs to be told for others on their journey.

If you or someone you know is suffering Domestic Violence and/or abuse, You are NOT alone!  Please get help!  Please find hope.  You deserve help.

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1 800 799 7233

“Dear Dani,

This post that I re blogged was originally shared by my “sister-in-courage” on her blog “begin to believe”.

I also survived 5 years of Domestic Violence. The most comprehensive chronicle of what I survived is found in my post, “Unflinching and Unveiled”, (It’s very candid, reader beware) it’s found here: https://adjustmentstonormal.wordpress.com/2014/06/30/unflinching-and-unveiled/

A gentler explanation of our journey is found in my sneak peak of my book chapter, used by permission. “Lilacs & Shackles, sneak preview” here:

https://adjustmentstonormal.wordpress.com/2014/07/25/lilacs-shackles/

I was scarred for many years. During that time, Jesus so tenderly loved me and gently walked alongside of us on our journey. I wish I could say that “I gave it to God and now I’m fine.” I HAVE given the years of abuse over to God, sometimes multiple times an hour. I’m not always fine. I have learned that that is okay. Instead of desiring “Christian denial” and pretending that nothing ever happened, I have learned the immense amount of courage and freedom that is found when I speak the truth in love. I, Gracie K. Harold, survived abuse.

I did not deserve it; no one EVER deserves abuse! Being abused does not diminish the facts that God is a good and loving Father who loves me, and even though I still sometimes see the scars that the horrific abuse left behind; I am learning to see that they are truly lines left behind when the Artist took my broken pieces and made me into a new creation; His beloved daughter. I have also finally had my heart enlarged enough to stop being consumed by the hurt, pain and abuse; and instead, to fix my eyes on the Everlasting Father who loves me so much that His son was with me every step of the way. The hardest wrestling match for me spiritually came when I finally accepted that I was NOT abandoned during the abuse. Instead, I believe that He held me as the abuse went on, and whispered, “I am so sorry that this is happening! This is NOT my will, and I will never treat you this way! I love you, and I am here!”

I came to see it as a caregiver who is outside with a child that gets unexpectedly hit by a soccer ball which a neighbor kicked at the child. The caregiver has no desire for the child to get hurt, and yet sometimes other people’s choices result in our pain. The caregiver rushes to the side of the child, reassuring them and seeking medical attention if necessary. The point is, the child is not alone as they heal.

Neither was I. It is one of the hardest paradoxes in God’s love to understand; yet His fingerprints are seen everywhere in our journey. I can’t always see Him, and I don’t always like the way things go, but I know that He is here and He loves me. I have learned to focus on that as I unflinchingly face my scars, knowing that I am dearly beloved.

Thank you for your encouragement and sharing your heart, Dani. The way that you have journeyed alongside me in the world of blogging has spurred me onward in my courage to speak and no longer be silenced.

Love, Gracie K.”

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3 thoughts on “Abuse

  1. Oh, Gracie. I had no idea, sweetie. Thank you for your candor and so tenderly sharing your scars and story with me.

    And this:

    “I have also finally had my heart enlarged enough to stop being consumed by the hurt, pain and abuse; and instead, to fix my eyes on the Everlasting Father who loves me so much that His son was with me every step of the way.”

    What a beautiful visual.
    What a beautiful heart.

    You are cherished, friend.
    For who you are.
    But also…
    For who you’re allowing yourself to become.

    With heart,
    Dani

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: #enditmovement | Adjustments to Normal

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