Yesterday’s post spoke about some of the new boundaries that we have established in our home.
Another adjustment has been for James and I to find the balance in spending time together but also to have time with our friends alone.
One of the challenges has been that I grew up with over 10 male cousins. I am kind of a tomboy at heart.
When James and I became engaged, we agreed that we would hang out together with my guy friends, but that it just wasn’t wise for me to hang out alone with them. This was mostly my insistence, not his.
My guy friends are very much like brothers to me, and we live in a world that often construes things exactly as it wishes. My husband’s reputation, my friends’ reputations, and my reputation matter too much for me to carelessly find myself in a situation which could somehow defame a loved one’s character.
James and I feel a deep compassion to mentor young adults as they transition through college and into professional life. Spending time with these brilliant young minds constantly stretches us and teaches us so many lessons!
We have decided to be über cautious in our interactions with the young adults of the opposite sex, not out of fear or prudishness, but out of respect for our marriage, and a desire to demonstrate that out of every single person in the whole wide world, he picked me to be his best friend and lover; and I did the same.
When we are out with a group, we typically stay in close proximity to each other. If a member of the opposite sex playfully reaches for James’ arm, he’ll typically excuse himself or call me over to join the conversation.
This isn’t because we are terrified of other people, it’s not our attempt at “looking religious”; it’s merely the way that we continue to communicate to each other that we are happy with the choice we made.
Sometimes, in communicating our preferences to others, I am sure that feelings have been hurt, egos may have been bruised, and occasionally, people have become ticked off at us.
My apologies for unintentional harm, but this is our preference.
This is our way of conveying our love to each other.
I understand that this may look like steps that lead through shadows to others; but to us, the shadows won’t hinder us as we continue to walk forward in our declaration of love for one another.
We are not asking for universal agreement, we are merely asking for mutual respect of our preferences.
If you’re looking to discuss this with us, chances are you’ll find us together. 😉