Ornate artistry speaks viscerally to my soul.
Beauty resonates with me in a way that fills me to overflowing.
I realized today that once upon a time, creative expression was poured into designing restraints and limitations.
The photograph above is part of an intricate railing that provides a delicate yet strong boundary in a turn-of-the-century hotel.
James and I have recently been debating and discussing what boundaries are going to look like for us as we go forward. I balked when I was first told to “take it easy” as I heal and prepare for surgery. I’ve been learning though that limitations can be beautiful if I use them as a tool that promotes safety and health.
We’ve also been deliberately and intentionally establishing boundaries within our marriage and our family. They are not intended to be a barrier, but instead, our boundaries are designed to promote safety and beauty in our lives.
When I was younger, close friends of mine shared that they marked two black Xes on the calendar each week. One X was the couple’s date night. No kids, no business meetings, no distractions, simply being alone for at least 2 hours together. The other X was a time slot devoted exclusively to family time, the couple and their kids; uninterrupted, no distractions, for at least 2 hours together. I was told that sometimes the X gets moved due to a scheduling conflict, but the point is, that time was intentionally blocked off every single week.
James and I started doing this about 6 weeks ago, only he insisted that we have two nights a week for us alone, and also one X a week for us to spend with the kids.
It has radically changed our relationship and our family dynamics for the better.
Our dates range from super cheap to nominal, depending on the amount of money that we have on hand. We’ve gone out for moderately priced appetizers, gone through a fast food drive-through, packed a meal, simply escaped for an ice cream cone, gone for walks, window shopped, driven through the country, gone to peruse paint color chips at the hardware store, rented a movie and ate supper in bed when I was too ill to leave the house, gone to a coffee shop, escaped to the beach, played mini-golf, played real golf, gone to a book store, and looked through magazines over a cup of coffee.
The point is that we have been together, in a time block that is devoted simply for us and the growth of our relationship.
Security and trust are multiplied when you are shown that in all the world, time with you matters most.
What X do you need to mark on the calendar?
You can do it! Add a little “ornate elegance”, or even, some “simple elegance” to your relationship. 😉