Fixated (c)Gracie K. Harold 2014

Fixated (c)Gracie K. Harold 2014

Guess what’s in this photo!  What do you think it is?

Seriously, indulge me.  =)

I discovered this image a while back when I was zooming in on a photograph that I had taken.  I remembered a workshop that I attended one year during the Diversity Seminar while at Taylor.  We watched a video clip and had to guess what was happening.  We were all surprised when the answer was revealed, as it demonstrated that our assumptions were not correct.

Grief can reemphasize our existing assumptions.  It can fixate us on our loss, on our own pain, and eventually cause us to push away the ones that we love.

It’s not a purposeful isolation, but it happens.

This week was hard.  Terribly hard.  I was processing so much, so many things.  I retreated into myself to sort things out.  I caught myself, though, only having “good moments” with the kids when James was home after work.  Granted, I was tired, and ill, and trying to figure things out…but I inadvertently closed down emotionally.

I snapped out of it yesterday, when God mercifully reminded me that  I am NOT minimizing my losses or my grief.  I am simply saying that death is an unfortunate part of life.  It sucks, it hurts to say goodbye, it hurts to be apart, but it happens.

If I allow myself to only think about what I’ve lost, or who I’ve said goodbye to; eventually I become fixated on what I’ve lost and I miss what I have right here in front of me.  I have people in my life who need my love.  I can be physically and mentally present here today for the people around me, whether or not they originated in my womb.

Grieving is a journey.  It takes time.  You have permission to grieve.  You also have permission to honor your loved ones by living life.  See the ones who are still here.  They love you, and are here to join you on the journey.  You are surrounded and engulfed by a bigger support than you realize.  Open your eyes and see the big picture.

Take a deep breath, pray for courage, and then step out in faith.

He’s already there.

Contact me if you would like, but know that I am praying today that your grief journey finds you enveloped by love, support, acceptance, and healing.



P.S. Here’s the  Fixated Answer

“True confidence comes from realizing the view.”
– Tulku Urgyen


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