Random Humor for Giggles

2014-04-24 09.40.31
This post is utterly, selfishly because I need to laugh.  Seriously, I want to laugh until tears stream down my face.  Here goes…in no particular order.

In college, I had a friend named Matt.  There was a residence hall on campus which
was a fraternity by default.  I say default only because frats and sororities were “forbidden” at our university.  That being said, the two floors in this particular hall were the closest to a frat house that we got.  It was one of the first weekends of our freshman year, and this “frat” group was playing “shoe golf”.  The guys would kick their shoe through the air, and see whose shoe had gone the furthest.  Then the game would proceed with the farthest kicker starting, and so on and so forth.

Well, Matt came over and watched the guys for a round; then asked if he could join them. They obliged, Matt bent over to “untie” his shoe; straightened to put his full strength into his kick…and fell on his back as his prosthetic shin and foot (complete with shoe), went flipping gloriously through the air. More than 30 young men stood in horror with eyes wide and mouths agape as they realized that an entire lower leg had just gone flying off of its owner.  They turned in slow motion to see Matt on his back, crocodile tears streaming from his eyes.

“Ummm, dude, are you ok?” managed one of the guys.

Matt gasped, “Ok?!…The looks on your faces are priceless!”

They all joined him in his laughter, and he was unanimously voted to be an honorary member!

Another fun memory was made on the night that I joined my friend Ken for a night out at the movies.

2014-04-21 19.23.18A local theatre had been built for silent films; and it was ornately decorated with marble flooring, gold leaf ceiling, plush velvet curtains; the whole bit.  They were offering a movie marathon for one low admission price; as well as a concession deal which was $1.00 to fill your own containers with pop and popcorn.

Ken had dutifully gone into town to scrounge the stores in hopes that he would locate the biggest (and slightly eccentric) containers.  To this day, I have no recollection of what he used for his pop.  I very vividly remember his popcorn holder.

He had purchased a plastic donkey planter which was about 18 inches from front to, uh, back.  We walked into the opulent theatre lobby and joined the throngs of locals who were dressed as if they were at a Country Club Brunch. People were in their little groups, chit chatting while awaiting entrance into the theatre proper.

At this point in the story, it is necessary to tell you that Ken has a voice which could be a dead-ringer for Jim Carrey. Ken walked up to the counter, and in his loudest voice (which was heard over everyone else), he asked, “Ex-x-x-cuse me…would you please fill my ASS with popcorn?”.

Dead silence.

The concessions attendant said, “Hmm hmm, what?”

Ken slowly and loudly repeated, “Would you please fill my (as he slid the donkey onto the counter) ASS with popcorn?”  Everyone lost it.  It no longer mattered that people were wearing pearls and three piece suits; the whole place erupted in laughter.

Hopefully,  this provided a respite from the mundane of life…and you laughed.

 

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